The Hubby Archives
Documenting the ancient sea demon that slumbers below Lake Ray Hubbard since prehistoric times. A reservoir only 50 years old. A beast millions of years old. The math does not math.
NORA Case File NORA-LRH-2022-Ω // Compiled from crew testimony, unreliable sonar data, and whatever Jenkins thinks he saw at 3 AM.
Chronicle of Sightings
Every encounter with Hubby has been documented, debunked, and then re-bunked by the crew when nobody else was looking. These accounts are presented exactly as reported, which is to say: chaotically.
Witness: Captain Valaar
The Initial Contact
The depth finder registered a mass roughly the size of a municipal bus. Sonar captured what I described at the time as 'either a Mesozoic nightmare or a very ambitious catfish.' I ...
Witness: Jenkins (First Mate)
The Whispering
I was alone on watch. The lake was glass. Then I heard my name. Not from the radio. From below. Clear as day. 'Jenkins... bring more rum.' I am 90% certain it was the demon. 10% ce...
Witness: Captain Valaar
Thermal Anomaly
FLIR camera registered a heat signature 40 feet across at a depth of 80 feet. Temperature differential: 11.7 degrees warmer than ambient. The shape was... wrong. Not fish. Not mamm...
Witness: Unnamed Kayaker
The Sunday Morning Incident
A civilian kayaker reported 'a tree trunk that was breathing' approximately 200 yards offshore. The Coast Guard investigated and found nothing. The kayaker has since moved to Nebra...
The Hubby Dossier
Classified documents regarding the entity known as Hubby. Click any blacked-out section to reveal what someone very important decided you should not see. Unless you are very important. In which case: hello, please sponsor our next event.
Hypothesis: Hubby is not a single organism but rather a colonial entity comprised of millions of microscopic organisms that have achieved collective consciousness. This would explain how a creature of prehistoric origin could survive in a reservoir constructed in 1968-1971.
Alternative hypothesis: Hubby is a time traveler. This would also explain it. Everything else would also be explained by this. Time travel explains a lot.
Jenkins' hypothesis: Hubby is his ex-wife's lawyer. This hypothesis has been discounted by the research team but not by Jenkins.
Authored by Dr. [REDACTED] — NORA Bio-Anomaly Division
Subject: Captain Valaar // Interviewer: Agent Vance
Q:Can you describe the entity's behavior?
A:It was big. It was wet. It was very judgmental. I could feel it staring at me through 40 feet of water and my own poor life choices.
Q:Did it display aggressive behavior?
A:It ignored us. That was somehow worse. You want a monster to at least acknowledge your cannon fire. It just... floated there. Like a very large, very ancient, very disappointed parent.
Interview terminated when subject demanded consulting fees
Standard geological surveys of Lake Ray Hubbard confirm the reservoir was created between 1968 and 1971 by damming the East Fork Trinity River. Maximum depth: 35.8 feet. Average depth: 15.2 feet.
These figures are incompatible with the survival of a Mesozoic-era predator of the reported size. The creature would require significantly deeper waters, stable salinity levels, and a complete absence of boat traffic.
The creature has been observed in all of these conditions. The math does not math. Science is confused. The crew is drinking.
Conclusion: Either the geological surveys are wrong, the creature is not from this era, or the laws of physics have taken a personal day.
Date: March 15, 2024
Location: Sector 7, Deep Basin
During a routine NORA-contracted survey, the crew accidentally dropped a depth charge (described by the Captain as “a very large firework”) into the water. The resulting sonar image revealed eight distinct appendages radiating from a central mass measuring 14.6 meters.
The creature did not move. It did not react. It simply absorbed the shockwave and continued its business, which appears to be judging humanity silently.
Follow-up: NORA has tripled the budget for “observation-only” protocols.
Words From Those Who Have Seen
The crew is many things: loud, chaotic, under-caffeinated, over-rummed, and fundamentally incapable of telling a story the same way twice. Here is what they claim to have witnessed. Believe them at your own peril.
Jenkins
First Mate / Professional Worrier
“People ask if I'm scared of Hubby. I'm not. I've seen the Captain operate a vessel while simultaneously eating a burrito and arguing with a seagull. Hubby is tame by comparison. What scares me is that Hubby has never once tried to eat us. It means either we're not worth eating, or it's saving us for something worse.”
Crew interview, recorded at 2 AM while heavily caffeinated
The Coast Guard (Name Withheld)
Federal Maritime Authority / Unwilling Participant
“We have received seventeen separate 'Hubby sighting' reports from the crew of the BSS Kittie. We have investigated zero of them. Not because we do not believe them. Because we are genuinely afraid that if we find something, we will have to write a report about it. And then another report. And then a Congressional briefing. We would rather not.”
Anonymous statement, delivered via burner phone
Duck #7
Local Waterfowl / Eyewitness
“Quack. Quack quack quack. Quack quack. [Translation: 'It is large. It is ancient. It smells of pressure and time. I do not go near Sector 7 anymore. None of us do. The fish have organized a union.']”
Translated from waterfowl by Jenkins, who does not speak duck
Unnamed Kayaker
Civilian / Traumatized / Now in Nebraska
“I just wanted to kayak on a Sunday morning. I did not ask for existential terror. I did not ask for a breathing tree trunk. I did not ask for the crew to offer me 'complimentary tickets to the next anomaly event.' I want to speak to a manager. Of what, I do not know. But I want to speak to one.”
Recorded exit interview, June 2024
Captain Valaar
Commanding Officer / Chaos Anthropologist
“Hubby is not that bad, as far as sea creatures goes. Compared to what one might experience sitting in your average Floridian bar getting day drunk at 11AM, Hubby only ranks a 6 on a scale of 1 to 6. With 6 being the most terrifying fucking thing you can witness outside of walking in on your parents have sex.”
Post-event analysis, Sector 7 patrol, March 2025
A Word From Management
Do I really need to explain that none of this is true?
It is all for a fun, entertainment based venue that specializes in crafting unique adventures for all ages.
Hubby is not real. Hubby is a story. A very fun, very entertaining story that we have built an entire page around because we enjoy chaos and you, apparently, enjoy reading about it. There is no prehistoric sea demon in Lake Ray Hubbard. NORA does not exist. The crew is not under federal contract to investigate anything. The Coast Guard has not received any reports, anonymous or otherwise.
What does exist is the Texas Lakes Totally Legitimate Shipping Company, LLC, a legitimate entertainment venue operating on the lakes of Texas. We create unique, memorable experiences for guests of all ages. Our Alternative Reality Marketing Events are real in the sense that we really do broadcast them, we really do make them chaotic, and you really can watch them. The supernatural framing is theater. Very committed theater.
If you would like to experience an actual event — one where the only monsters are the crew's decision-making skills — please visit our events page. If you are here because you genuinely believe there is a demon in a Dallas reservoir, we recommend our FAQ section, a cool glass of water, and perhaps a brief conversation with a trusted friend.
The lake remembers. The lake knows. The lake sends invoices. But the lake does not, in fact, host ancient demons. That we know of.